Building Healthy Relationships with Youth Part 4 of 4 by Kelly Noftz

Cha-Ching! The Trust Bank Account

Healthy relationships need your investment of positive “deposits” on a consistent basis.
When we make withdrawls, we need to use a genuine apology and take steps to repair the damage (re-invest in the relationship!). Repairing relationships takes sincere effort and regular deposits into your trust bank account. If the relationship was damaged by your own behavior, it will take some time to improve it. Don’t be discouraged-get positive!
Kindness goes a long way in building loving and lasting relationships. Take every opportunity to notice, name and celebrate the accomplishments and contributions of others.
Take responsibility for your “balance” in the emotional bank account. The choice to make deposits or to take withdrawls is up to you.

Like any bank account, you must monitor your balance in the trust bank account closely.
Deposits:                                       Withdrawls:
Genuine Apology                           Refusing to admit when you are wrong
Courtesy                                        Rudeness
Honesty                                         Lies, deceit
Honoring commitments                Lack of follow-through
Keeping promises                         Breaking promises, choosing to do something else instead, “forgetting”
Kindness                                       Ingratitude, entitled
Loyalty                                          Betray confidences
Patience                                        Impatience, short tempered, quick to judge
Personal integrity                         Taking credit for someone else’s work
Respect                                         Disrespect, trash talk, put-downs, teases
Understanding                              Overreacting, yelling
Active Listening                            Interrupting, finish sentences

Intentionally choose to make frequent deposits to maximize the gains in your relationships!

*Adapted from: Engage Every Student: Motivation Tools for Teachers and Parents, by Elizabeth Kirby and Jill McDonald

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